Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I don't know who Patrice Motsepe is.

Personally speaking, I think that people should wear stupid signs. Like bright yellow signs that define their level of stupidity just so that you won't waste precious moments of your life attempting to converse ( Happy JD? ) with them. For example, this is a conversation I had today:

Cab Driver: Where are you going today?
Me: Tap n Tile, do you know where it is?
Cab Driver: Tap n Tile? Oh, I've heard of them.
Me: So you know the address?
Cab Driver: No.
Me: 445 Victoria Road.
Cab Driver: Is that the bottom end or the top end?
Me: I don't know.
Cab Driver: There's a paint shop at the top end. Is it that one?
Me: Uhm. No. (its called TAP N TILE, I doubt it's a paint shop)
Cab Driver: It must be a different one then.
Me: Do you want me to give you directions?
Cab Driver: No, I'll just put the address into the Garmin. (which is a GPS system)
Me: Ok. (Internal thoughts - OMFG, you have a garmin?!)

So this conversation which took all of 1 minute and 36 seconds was 1 minute and 20 seconds longer than it should have been. Waste of my life much? :/ This is how it should have gone.

Cab Driver: Where are you going today?
Me: Tap n Tile, do you know where it is?
Cab Driver: No
Me: 445 Victoria Road.
Cab Driver: (says nothing but proceeds to type it into his Garmin)

Siiiigh. See, now if he had been wearing a sign, I would have known not to engage and just stated right off the cuff what the address was and how to get there - in the simplest english I could muster up.

Worse than all of this, is that this size of this class seems to be steadily increasing [which is especially surprising seeing as education levels of this world are seemingly rising] Every day I encounter more and more stupid people. And not just plain stupid ones - completely and utterly void of any sort of intelligence people. I can't relate the frustration I feel. As far as normal people go, I have vague levels of patience. Then I come across a stupid person and suddenly, my sarcasm gets kicked up a notch. This is probably a bad life choice because THEY DON'T CATCH THE SARCASM - a sad side effect of being stupid, I view sarcasm as a welcome relief in a painful world. And when people fail to grasp that I am being sarcastic, it aggravates me further.

It's a vicious cycle.

In other news, white supremacists are trying to gain a seat in the NH house, oil is still flooding the gulf and I admitted to my editor that I didn't know who Patrice Motsepe was (he is apparently, google tells me, one of South Africa's richest and most powerful businessmen, even making the Forbes magazine)

Not only did I feel like I should be wearing one of the signs I am campaigning for, but I excerbated the situation by following that confession with "Ask me who Alexander McQueen is, I can tell you that." Turns out, not only does my editor not know who Alexander McQueen is, he also does not care nor does he think anyone else should care. I know this because he replied, "You're a twilight fan aren't you? Do you like it for the storyline or the boys with sexy bodies?" (I didn't reply to this but I'm sure he noted the half naked picture of Rob Pattinson that is my screensaver.)

I love my life. :)
My stupid sign is currently being printed, should I get you one too?

Love Starchild*

PS: A. McQueen is an *awesome* British fashion designer who recently passed away. :'( NO I DID NOT CRY. whoever told you that was lying. go hit them. hard.

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