Sunday, May 29, 2011

Worthless women.

I wonder who was the first person to decide on what perfect boobs should look like. Or maybe it was like a committee. They held a meeting, drew up a referendum, took a vote and here we are.. And not just perfect boobs- perfect legs, tummies, butts, hips, arms, ankles, ears, eyelashes..

We seem to have set standards for what perfect should look like, what we should look like so that men find us sexy, fun, intelligent, beautiful, whatever. But we have a really big problem:

Women are fat. Women don't have flat tummies. Women don't have big enough boobs. Women don't have toned arms. Women don't have legs like Gisele Bundchen. Women are horrible cooks. Women are stupid. Women are irrational. Women are too weak. Women don't have soft enough skin. Women aren't good enough. Women are worthless. 

I have heard all of this women. How could a person possibly think that they're worthless? To be of no value? To be that undesirable? Be honest, you've thought something like that about yourself, more than once.. Just own up to it. You said it to your mother or your best friend or your boyfriend or your dog.. And I won't accept that it's all our fault. That we see women in magazines and automatically want to be like them. We know they're airbrushed into that image.

And guess where the problem lies.. (I know it's an age old thing to say, but hear me out and I promise it's a two way argument.) The problem lies with guys.

If you are a man, you're probably saying, "I don't do that, I tell my girlfriend every day how beautiful and perfect she is."

Well, you know that image on a magazine that I was talking about, you stop and you look.

And women notice and remember.

She sees it when you can't help but sneak a glance when a woman walks past with "perfect" legs.

She remembers when you compliment another woman on something.

She hears you when you're talking with your mates and you're discussing that girl in the grocery store with boobs that sit just "perfectly".

She stores it all and then thinks, "What is he looking at? What is so captivating? Do I have that? Do I need that to keep him interested?"

We can tell ourselves that the women in magazines are fake until we're blue in the face.
What's real is a man's reaction to them and that women want their man to react that way to them.
Come on guys, step up to the plate and say it.
You want that girl on the cover of Maxim.
You want the centerfolds.
You want the women who qualify as "perfect".
Given half a chance, you would take it.

Don't put this on us, don't expect us to suddenly be comfortable with who we are. Do you think we would care about the Playboy cover girl if men weren't interested in her? Do you think we would aspire to that standard of beauty if men didn't care or hold us to it?

Stop stopping. Stop looking. Give women a fighting chance.
And girls, stop saying it. Stop thinking it.

Peace ♥ ♥ 

PS: Guys, before you hate me and think I'm just using you as a scapegoat, there shall be an equivalent post for worthless men and I shall blame women. Just give me a moment. :)

The idea for this post came from a blog called Single Dad Laughing. He's brilliant. 

Saturday, May 28, 2011

On pretentious bitches, drunk texting and incest

This is my disclaimer. This post is a rant. I don't normally use my blog for such but I shall make an exception. Feel free to add your comments - agreeing or disagreeing (the latter at your own risk). Please do read other posts before you judge the blog. She shouldn't be punished for my crimes. 

There are these two females in my life - not because I want them there, but because I was a ruthless woman in my last life and the universe is simply performing its karmic duty. 

Most times I can be civil about them. I can contain the need to break something every time I hear their names. But sometimes. Sometimes I honestly think that in the next 4 to 5 years, I will spend a small amount of time in a correctional service facility for grievous bodily harm. (I say small because I live in South Africa and assault doesn't stack up to much time in the slammer.

I used to wonder how one becomes so pretentious, deceitful and careless. I have decided that the only plausible cause is brain damage from all the hair dye, make up and heat from hair straighteners. What really baffles me now, is how easily such girls attract men, how easily men are drawn into the casual flirting and "cuteness". (Later on, when they are rejected, then men see the other side. This is often a source of great amusement for me.) Maybe it's because such girls are all too willing to fuck anything that moves and so, men don't really care..

One particularly raucous night out (it unfortunately being one of the times when I wanted nothing more than to have them go underwater and wait until I counted to a million) I decided that said girls needed to hear exactly what I thought of them. Not being in possession of their numbers, I resorted to a strongly worded message on Facebook. In my infinite drunkenness wisdom, I sent the messages to wrong people and I had to apologise profusely the next day. When I read those messages now, I realise that I am more angry at how easily loved such girls are, than I am at the girls themselves. 

For a while I forgot about the existence of these two girls, until recently when funnily enough (so unfunny) they both made a simultaneous reappearance in my life. I wish I could say I handled it much better but I can't. The only positive thing that came out of it, was reaffirmation of who I am. When you think your beauty can get you everywhere, when your head is full of money, when you use people and then aren't there for them in return, when you lie and hurt people for your own benefit, when you're careless, selfish and vapid - you miss out too many things. 

You miss out on having someone love you entirely, know every little bit of you and still want you, you miss out on seeing the world as more than just a ladder of success that you beat your way up, you learn that some people stand behind a thousand walls and it takes genuine trust and care to get to the beautiful person inside. 

So you can live your life the way you're doing it now and I will still want to severely injure you, but I can close my eyes and be a more colourful, smarter, open person than you ever will. 

So here's to kissing-cousins-arrogant-vapid-lying-worst-friend-in-the-world girls.. Have a good one, ladies. 

Peace ♥ ♥ ♥

Monday, May 16, 2011

10 things I love

1. I love hearing her sing (especially when she thinks I can't hear her).

2. I love that she thinks I turned her into a geek (you always were baby :P a closet geek).

3. I love her 'happy dance'.

4. I love her morning cuteness.

5. I love how she loves the random things I do to see her smile. :)

6. I love how she almost sings it when she says she loves me.

7. I love falling asleep with her.

8. I love her smile.

9. I love her cheeks :P.

10. I love her giggle (you giggle at everything cutie :D ).

Bob Marley. Just when you think he can't be any greater..

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." 
 Bob Marley

♥ ♥ 

Friday, May 6, 2011

That which needs to be said, I'm only human after all.

Have you ever spilt something on a favourite coat or an expensive rug and though you managed to remove the stain, whenever you look at it, you still see it? See the stain even though to everyone else it looks the same?

I think a broken relationship works much in the same way. We are all only human and to forget grievances against us, is simply not in our nature. 

As much as we want to forgive and forget, more often than not, we can't. 

We all retain a few instinctual habits from our early days, habits that surface every once in a while. And one of these is that of self-preservation. The need to protect ourselves, the need to do whatever we have to in order to ensure that we don't get hurt. 

With that in mind, I have to say that when someone you trust and love hurts you, however unintentional it may be, it is near impossible to trust them again, as you once did. This is because that tiny instinctual part of you, that doesn't want to get hurt again, that wants to protect you at all costs, simply won't allow it. 

The danger of ignoring this doubt and going about your relationship as though everything is fine again, is that in time to come, you may grow to hate the person you love. They may never give you another reason to doubt them, but the doubt will make you resentful, petty, jealous and insecure. You will hate them for the person they have caused you to become.

After all I have said, I have to now admit that I don't have a solution. 
I don't know what to do to stop this. 
I just needed to say it, more for me than for you. More so that if this does happen I can forgive myself for it. 

It is not my weakness that cannot trust again, it is my human instinct.