Monday, August 22, 2011

The First Time*

The first time I realized that I loved him, I wanted to run. I wanted to turn around, run as fast as I could in the opposite direction and retain the simplicity of my life. 
I sat there, my heart fighting to keep what I felt locked inside. If he had just kept quiet and stayed beside me, it would have been okay. I thought, don't speak, please don't speak.
 But he stood up and knelt before me, I wouldn't meet his eyes so he lifted my chin and found my gaze. As soon as the words escaped him, it was as though they had been cast in stone. 
Nothing would erase them and I would never forget them.

Every moment that had ever been, every thought I had ever had, everything in my life was pervaded by him. There was nothing that remained untouched. 
He was an ordinary boy - the first time I saw him, he was standing out in the street, not doing anything spectacular, just standing there. But he had this look in his eyes - like he knew what complete freedom was, like he had seen beauty more magnificent than any words could explain, like grandeur flowed from inside him.

I would love the same boy all my life. 
In that moment, I knew for sure only that. We were just kids, young, brave and looking to life to give us all the answers we had sought for years but we promised to belong to each other and even when life took us to different places, we always found each other in ourselves.