Monday, November 7, 2011

Never making our parents' mistakes.

At some point, all kids make a quiet promise to themselves - to never be like their parents.
Not because all kids have bad parents, but because when you're a kid, life is black and white, and parenthood is hard to understand because most of it happens in a very gray, very unstable place.

As I grew up, I began to understand my parents' marriage more and I realised that all the grievances I had when I was a kid, all happened because I couldn't understand. Things that seemed so obvious and clear to me, were gray areas for my parents, areas that they had to feel their way out of - slowly and carefully.

But even so, I promised to never make my parents' mistakes.

I woke up one morning, 18 years old, staring at a therapist and I said, "We all want our parents to be superheroes, we want our fathers to rescue us and our mothers to protect us, we want our parents to have all the answers to our questions, we want them to show us that by the time we get to where they are - life is easier, less confusing, understandable. And when you have to face the fact that your parents are just people, were once just kids and will never be everything that you hope for, you might hate them for it. But after a while, it's okay because suddenly your parents' mistakes aren't as horrible as they once seemed. They're just mistakes."

And once you see that, you can forgive your parents and making their mistakes doesn't seem as bad as it used to.

Peace and love
♥  ♥  

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